I don’t know how many of you knew this, but the City of Atlanta has been subject to what has politely been called an “extreme” drought recently.
This has occasionally been comical, such as when the University of Georgia essentially asked 90,000 attendees of its homecoming football game to obey the “if it’s brown, flush it down…” maxim. It’s occasionally been sad, such as the protracted legal battle with downstream states Florida and Alabama over who got to use water from Georgia reservoirs. It’s even occasionally been terrifying, such as that day in October when the countdown until the pipes ran dry was a mere ninety days.
As one might imagine, this has all been of some concern to the state government, who have sought to protect Atlanta against a future water crisis of this magnitude in their own ways—I smirked when Governor Sonny Purdue led a prayer for rain on the state capitol steps—but the most recent attempt has been beyond the pale.
Two weeks ago two Republican lawmakers, Sen. David Shafer and Rep. Harry Geisinger, proposed that Georgians simply invade their northern neighbor and take their water.
Citing a survey from the 1800s, they claim that the state border has crept southward in an incorrect manner and advocate restoring the pre-1818 state lines. The obvious reason for this is the millions of gallons of water in the Tennessee River, one mile north of the present border.
Tennessee, for their part, seems to take this about as seriously as I do. They have offered to wrestle for the river, play a football game over it, or at the least not let it go without a fight. Georgia, on the other hand, has already passed the bill and broke out into song while doing so. Get your popcorn ready…